What We Stand For
We don’t just talk the talk, we work together to walk the walk.
Values of the New Warrior
- Accountability – We do what we say we will do, and don’t do what we say we will not do. We take responsibility for our actions, our thoughts and our feelings.
- Authenticity – We tell the truth about who we are. We strive to be our best selves.
- Compassion – We empathize, connecting to the suffering of others, and we act with love in the world.
- Generosity – We recognize that giving of ourselves from our abundance brings more for all. We take on missions of service in the world and work together to make a positive difference.
- Integrity – We live our values. We seek wholeness.
- Leadership – We step forward in our lives to offer compassionate leadership, seeking understanding and community rather than domination or oppression.
- Multicultural Awareness – We recognize that in our world it is imperative that we be able to live in harmony with people who are different than ourselves. We strive to understand ourselves and others and to celebrate our differences.
- Respect – We pay attention to the impacts of our actions on others and we treat others with honor.
Mature masculinity defines itself apart from the old ways of being a man: the rugged go-it-alone cowboy, the dominating macho man, the overly rational cold calculating thinker, the little boy in a man’s body, the overly sensitive man who uses his emotions to manipulate those around him, the morally bankrupt soldier of fortune. We recognize these aspects of ourselves as men. We all carry some of these shadows.
We also realize that these old ways are no longer effective or productive. We need a new approach to our lives that does not abuse ourselves or others, and recognizes that our problems will not be solved by the next block-buster cartoon hero or charismatic leader. We need men of strength, dedication, and integrity, working together with women to solve the problems of our time
Values and institutional stances
Connection To Feelings
Many men have been taught to value thinking and to distrust feeling. They have been desensitized, taught to endure pain without complaint, and told that it is an honor to sacrifice their bodies for society. As a result, many men suffer from isolation and are prone to addictions and to acting out their feelings in dysfunctional ways. Many are afraid of intimacy, both with men and with women. They hide behind masks that are brittle and in need of repair.
Other men know their feelings perhaps too well. They have learned to indulge in their feelings and use them to manipulate others, often the ones they love most. They lack the ability to stand in their own authenticity. Lost in their feelings, they too lose what is most precious to them: Their ability to be trusted and loved.
There is another way. The ManKind Project helps men re-discover their feelings with their feet on the ground. We help them learn to clarify what they’re feeling and to express those feelings directly and authentically. You can begin to learn to balance the depth of the heart with the wisdom of the mind.
Initiation For Modern Times
The ManKind Project has created a modern initiation for men. In almost every global culture, rites of passage taught boys how to be men and become productive members of the ‘tribe’. Often these experiences were harrowing and physically painful. These days, that old kind of initiation is no longer appropriate, safe, or useful. The modern initiation is safe, non-shaming, and focused on the problems that face men in the 21st Century. We conduct an initiation because we believe it is absolutely necessary for a man to learn in an unequivocal way; what he is capable of, why he is here, and how to engage fully in his life.
With this knowledge, a modern man is freed to make choices, take risks and assume full responsibility for his life. This is not a hazing ritual or an entrance to a fraternal organization; this is a challenging 48 hour experience that will likely have life-changing effects. Not every man is ready for our training, but every man can gain something when he is willing to take that step.
Men Helping Men
As boys and as men, we often view one another as competitors; for our parents’ attention, in sports, in classes, for mates, for jobs. In pre-history this competition was for the survival of our species. Today the pressures to compete in an ever more complex world drive men to lots of unhealthy behaviors.
To the extent that this competitive attitude isolates us from other men and from our communities, it is killing us, literally. Men who suffer isolation are less healthy, less happy, less successful and die early. Coupled with other health risks, emotionally isolated men are more than two times more likely to die prematurely. Tragically, we often feel alone even with our families and loved ones. The prevalence of alcoholism, depression, violence, suicide and many other addictive and self-destructive behaviors are directly linked to the fact that men in our societies are disconnected from themselves and from each other.
There is another way!
The ManKind Project supports men. We help each other. We challenge each other to keep growing. We support each other in all our lifes’ experiences.
Through our trainings, our social networks and our ongoing men’s groups we engage one another at a deep emotional level, sharing the highs and the lows. Having a broad support structure leads to healthier coping mechanisms and better physical and emotional health, life-long. You will be able to create and maintain relationships with men that are not just socially satisfying, but that will help you move forward in meaningful ways in your life.
Your family will benefit, your work will benefit, your friendships will benefit.
Institutional Stand Against Abuse
This is not a prescription. This is statement of vision for a global men’s institution. It is a declaration of our highest ideals and intentions for the world and for ourselves.
The Mankind Project Adopts An Institutional Stance Against Abuse.
We define abuse as behavior in which physical violence, emotional coercion, or improper use of authority is used to gain or maintain power, control, or sex in any relationship.
We recognize the deep personal impacts and cultural damage caused by patterns of abuse. As men involved in the ManKind Project, we work to transcend abusive ways of being for men. We consciously work to end abuse in every aspect of society. We begin with ourselves.
As men, we practice the values of integrity, compassion, accountability and respect. We stand up for the human needs of love and connection without abuse. To realize our vision and change the world by creating safe circles and vibrant communities, we take responsibility for ending the cycles of abuse in our families, our communities, and our world. We work to fully integrate our core values into our lives.
- We affirm that all men are welcome on our trainings and in our communities.
- We create trainings and circles in which all men are welcome to discover their deepest truths. We welcome men of all sexual orientations: gay, straight, and bisexual, including those who identify as having unwanted same-sex attraction, to do their own work as they define it, to respect the identity and value of others, and to take responsibility for the impact their words and behaviors have on others.
- We support each man in pursuing his path to deeper authenticity. We do not provide therapy nor endorse any particular therapy, including reparative therapy. Any group or organization that states or implies otherwise does so without our permission.
- We do not, and will not, attempt to change a man’s sexual orientation.
- We stand firm in support of gay and bisexual men. We support men who believe that homosexuality is a normal part of the spectrum of human sexuality and of mature masculinity.
- We will not tolerate proselytizing for any religion or belief, organizing training staff into groups that exclude others, guiding men’s processes in a predetermined direction, or grooming men for the training.
- We will not tolerate discrimination on our trainings or in our communities. We support our training and community leaders in identifying and challenging discriminatory language and behavior.
I WILL NOT EXPLOIT ANOTHER PERSON’S VULNERABILITY.
This means that:
- I acknowledge that a relationship may be exploitative when I take advantage of my position or experience within MKP to influence another person for my gain, particularly if I know that person to be vulnerable at the time. I understand that exploitation may occur at any time, but a person may be more vulnerable to exploitation shortly after initiation.
- For that reason, within 6 months of a person’s initiation, I will not begin a new financial, business, therapeutic or sexual relationship with them that a reasonable person would consider to be exploitative.
- If at any time I believe my actions might be exploitative, I will consult those I trust to challenge my shadows. I will do this without violating any confidentiality agreements.
- If I believe someone has exploited another’s vulnerability, I will challenge him to hold himself accountable.
- I acknowledge that I am accountable for my actions, and I give permission to my Center and the Project to assist me in holding myself accountable.
- If a peer review is conducted and I am judged to have exploited another’s vulnerability, I understand that appropriate consequences within the MKP Community may be imposed.
- I understand that, having completed the NWTA, I am expected to agree to abide by this Policy in order to participate in I-Groups or Open Circles, to staff or lead any MKP training, or to hold any MKP community leadership position.
Dissemination of this Policy
This policy will be posted on the MKP website and the websites of all MKP centers and communities, and will be distributed by broadcast email quarterly. Each center will include a copy of this policy within all staff and New Brother packets. This policy will be discussed with New Brothers during the integration session at the end of the NWTA and during their initial I-Group trainings.
The following statement will be included in all NWTA Staff Applications, all MKP Staff Releases, and in Participant Releases for all MKP trainings except the NWTA: “I have read and agree to abide by the MKP Ethics Policy.”